


Damaged

by KrimsonMistress



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Caring, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unethical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-06-22 19:04:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15588654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrimsonMistress/pseuds/KrimsonMistress
Summary: What if Missy's test ended in another disaster than it did in the series?





	1. Missy's Test

“Hello. I’m Doctor Who.”

Missy stepped out of the TARDIS, trying way too hard to be confident to be noticing that she was excessively exaggerating. She was nervous, but she didn’t want the others to know. Especially not him.

“Oh. Quite empty.”

She looked around in the control room of the ship, scanning its functions with her eyes and searching for lifeforms.

“Maybe they’re hiding from whatever caused them to send a distress signal.”, the black girl assumed.

“Good point, hair explosion.”, Missy tried to compliment her. “But no, no, no. They’re watching.”

She waved at the security camera she had spotted with a flirty wink. “Hello there!”

The big computer screen in front of them flickered on. It was showing a man in a lab coat. He seemed very nervous.

“Hello!” Missy winked at the screen. “I am… Doctor Who…”, she said as dramatic as possible, “…and those…” She nodded at Bill and Nardole. “…are my … disposables.”

“Bill and Nardole.”, Nardole said with a sigh.

“We’ve got your little… distress call.” Missy winked again. “So, I am here to help! Because I, Doctor Who, travel through the universe in a blue box to wherever I am needed like an awesome hero!”

“You’re here to help?”, the man asked with a shaking voice.

“Yes!” Missy curtsied. “At your services. I’m here to help and make everyone happy.”

“I need to scan you first.” He said while looking around. “To make sure you’re not one of… them.”

“Saucy.” Missy lifted her arms. “Scan me, darling! I’m not carrying any weapons! Promise!”

A red ray of light was running over the three of them. The man was looking at a tablet to see the results, then he nodded.

“I’m coming over.”

The screen switched off again and Missy patted her umbrella. “What a nice guy. Cute little moustache.”

“He talked about… _them_.” Bill looked around. “What do you think _they_ are?”

“More than one.” Missy plopped down on a chair.

“Try a bit harder to solve it.”, the Doctor radioed at them.

Missy rolled her eyes. “Black hole. Pulling ship down. Maybe ripping open a rift or something else which is letting other creatures through. Creatures killing people. People reaching out for help. Entrance Doctor Who.”

“Not bad.”, the Doctor said while obviously chewing on crisps.

“Are you eating?!”, Missy asked.

“No.” She could hear him putting away the bag.

“Don’t test me eating crisps!”

“Why are you calling him Doctor Who?”, Bill asked.

Missy wanted to answer but in that moment the door opened and the man in the lab coat entered.

“Oh, hello there!” Missy stood up again and walked over to him. “I am…”

“…a Time Lord.”, he said, looking at her in awe.

“Time Lady. Please.” Missy rolled her eyes.

“It’s an honour to meet you.” He reached out his hand to her.

“You’re flattering me.” Missy took his hand… and suddenly felt a sharp pain.

“A Time Lady…” His voice changed as the world around her slowly turned dark. “…what an extraordinary catch…”


	2. Floor 150

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and his companions try to save Missy.

Nardole and Bill couldn’t react fast enough as Missy lost consciousness. The man caught her in inhumane speed and vanished again through the door within a second. The companions tried to open it, but it was locked.

“Oh, this isn’t good…”, Nardole muttered.

“Missy!”, the Doctor screamed into his earpiece while running out of the TARDIS. “Missy, can you hear me?!”

But beside static noises nothing radioed back from Missy’s earpiece.

“We have to open that door.” The Doctor put out his sonic screwdriver to scan it.

“What could he possibly want to do with her?”, Bill asked.

“Oh, I’ve got a lot of ideas already.”, Nardole said.

“He said something like she was _a good catch_.” Bill looked at him and then back to the Doctor.

“Maybe he is from the black market.”, Nardole shrugged.

“Missy would bring millions there…”, the Doctor said quietly and moved a step back. “But not on my watch.” He activated the screwdriver again and the door opened. It revealed a small hallway that led to an elevator. It opened when they got near it and revealed buttons for 150 floors.

“How can we find out where she is?”, Bill asked a bit helpless.

“I will scan the system for which button got used last.” The Doctor pointed his screwdriver at the engine.

“This woman is nothing but trouble…”, Nardole complained quietly.

“Well, to be fair, this wasn’t her fault.”, Bill had to admit and Nardole just nodded in defeat.

 

The elevator started moving, all the way down to the deepest floor. It felt strange, not only because of the high speed. There was also something else in the air.

“It feels… dreadful.”, Bill said quietly.

“Oh, that’s interesting.” The Doctor put both hands on the elevator walls. “Time and space are floating around us. Of course! The black hole! It makes time pass faster the closer we get to it!”

“Does that mean we’re travelling through time?”, Bill asked quite impressed.

“Yes. And no. It isn’t time travel. Just… scrolling.” The Doctor turned to her. “Time has never been more relative.”

“So, if time passes much faster in the bottom of the ship… how much time has passed for Missy then?”, Nardole asked.

The Doctor took a deep breath and ran a hand trough his hair. “I don’t know.”

 

Finally, the elevator stopped, and the door opened. It revealed another short hallway, leading to only one door. It wasn’t locked, so the three of them were able to enter the small room. It showed lots of monitors and was obviously made for surveillance. Everything was switched off though.

“I’ve been expecting you.”

All three of them twitched when the man in the lab coat closed the door behind them. It had been a trap.

“Where is Missy?”, the Doctor asked immediately.

“You will see soon. But please, have a seat first.”

Bill, Nardole and the Doctor got grabbed by robots, only consisting of their endoskeletons, and pushed on three metal chairs which cuffed their hands and feet onto them.

“How polite of you.”, the Doctor said unimpressed.

“Vulgar isn’t exactly my style.”, the man said and stepped in front of them. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Walter Fenyred. At least it was some time ago. As you probably have noticed time is passing a lot faster down here than up there.”

“But you haven’t aged.” The Doctor nodded. “You aren’t human.”

Walter shook his head. “I’m afraid, no.”

“How much time has passed?”, Bill asked.

“Oh, about fifty years. A bit more. You were very fast.” He smiled at her.

“Where is Missy?”, the Doctor asked again.

“She is quite special to you. You’re quite special to her too, you know?” Walter chuckled. “But to answer your question: She is only one room away. Right behind that door. I can put her on screen. But I’m afraid that she isn’t able to talk to you right now.”

He switched on one of the monitors. It showed a white and sterile room with a machine inside. Connected to it with many hoses and needles in her body was Missy. She was naked and haggard, her hair matted and her skin pale. Blue liquid was pumped in and out of her body through the machine.

“Oh my god…”, Bill said quietly.

“Not good…”, Nardole muttered.

The Doctor didn’t say anything, but his expression changed. He was looking like a very dangerous man now.

“You see, I’m a scientist.”, Walter explained. “And there is nothing better to experiment with than a rare species.”

“You want to experiment? Then take me.”, the Doctor said with a cold voice. “I am the same.”

“Oh, what a wonderful offer. But I’ve got you here. All of you. I don’t need to trade or to choose.” He looked at the monitor that showed Missy with a warm smile. “A female and a male. Oh, the possibilities I’ve got now.”

“Ew. Gross.”, Bill said as she understood what he was talking about.

“Gross?” Walter looked at her. “There is nothing _gross_ about this wonderful race.”

“You’re just seeing them as… guinea pigs.”

“Bill.” The Doctor’s voice was quiet and sinister. “Don’t speak.”

“You’re quite angry.” Walter looked over to him. “But don’t worry, temper is good.”

“You know no morals. No regret. No integrity.”

“That is quite right.”

“You don’t feel sorry for the things you’ve done to Missy. You would do it over and over again to many other people.”

Walter nodded with a smile. “Yes.”

“That’s all I needed to know.”

The Doctor unlocked the cuffs of the chair with his screwdriver and pointed it at the scientist. “I know what you are. And I know how to hurt you. How to kill you. Slowly. Release her or you’ll regret it.”

“Oh, fantastic! I love this!” Walter clapped with his hands but suddenly they stopped in their movement and turned into a very unhealthy ankle.

“Do you still love it?”, the Doctor asked without any emotions as the flesh of his hands slowly ripped open.

“You know that this doesn’t hurt me.” Walter shook his head.

“Then you also know that I’m still giving you a chance. Release her.”

The scientist laughed again and with a hard movement of his screwdriver the Doctor ripped away the hands from his body. It didn’t bleed but the flesh made an ugly sound before revealing an endoskeleton, just like the ones that were still standing around in the room.

“Now you’ve ripped off my hands. Congratulations.” Walter tilted his head. “My move.”

But before the other endoskeletons could attack the Doctor blasted them all away with his screwdriver.

“This isn’t a game!”, he shouted.

“But it’s fun.”

With these words Walter signed his death sentence. The Doctor ripped away the flesh from his face, revealing a brain sitting in the endoskeleton of the scientist’s body. Another short blast and it exploded, leaving a lifeless body on the ground.

“Did you really have to make such a mess?”, Nardole complained as the Doctor uncuffed him and Bill as well.

“Shut up.”, the Doctor said, his voice still cold. He took the keys from the pocket of the robotic body’s lab coat and unlocked the door to the next room.

Missy was lying there, connected to the machine. Her eyes were open, but the Doctor wasn’t sure if she could notice anything. He put off the machine and was glad that there was a simple _Off_ button to do this. Then he carefully removed all hoses and needles from Missy’s body. Some of the blue fluid dripped on his finger and it burned like hell. He didn’t want to imagine how it felt for Missy, having this stuff inside of her.

“We’re going home.”, he said quietly while putting off his coat to cover her nudity before picking her up into her arms. She was as light as a feather.

“Doctor…” He turned around as he heard Nardole’s quiet voice. The cyborg sounded concerned, even more then usual. He was holding a large box.

“What does this mean?”, Bill asked while pointing at the label on the cover. “Nalukoscheisopnamantenecorserdry Aesculusderevo. What kind of language is that? And doesn’t the TARDIS normally translate…?” Bill stopped as she saw the shock in the Doctor’s face.

“It’s her name.”, Nardole explained quietly. “Missy’s real name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really fun to make up a name for the Master. All that's canon are 32 letters and Koschei as the short version, so I've been a bit creative. xD  
> I hope you liked the chapter and angry Doctor. x3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	3. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor brings Missy back home. But she surely isn't as happy as she pretends to be.

They were quiet on their way back up to the TARDIS. The Doctor was carrying Missy and Nardole was holding the box. They hadn’t looked inside yet. The Doctor didn’t want to open it without her consent. He knew that it would contain something horrible.

They had almost reached the TARDIS when Missy started moving in his arms. She blinked slowly and checked the surroundings before looking at him. A little smirk formed on her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You took your time.”, she said. Her voice was dry, and she started coughing. Some drops of the blue fluid landed on the back of her hand.

“Sorry.” The Doctor watched her with worried eyes. “I think you need some rest now.”

“I want my bed…” Missy closed her eyes again and leaned her head against his shoulder.

Bill opened the TARDIS door and they entered. Nardole put down the box while the Doctor seated Missy on the sofa. They travelled back to Bristol in silence and the Doctor landed the TARDIS in front of the Vault.

“Can you walk?”, he asked quietly while looking at Missy.

“Oh please, I’m not a toddler.” Missy stood up, but her legs buckled, and she fell on her knees.

“Missy!” The Doctor hastily walked over to her to help her up.

“I’m just… dehydrated.”, she muttered as he picked her up again.

“I’ll bring you a glass of water.”

Nardole opened the Vault for them since the Doctor couldn’t do it while holding Missy. He then carried her inside and put her down on the bed. She immediately crawled under the blanket.

“Get some water.”, the Doctor told Nardole before looking back at Missy. “How are you?”

“Never been better.” Missy smirked again.

“Please. Be honest.” The Doctor crouched next to her bed.

“Oh darling, I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” She patted his cheek. Her hand felt rough and he did notice the light shaking.

“Missy…” He shook his head.

“It’s not the first time I’ve been a prisoner, you know?” She tried to sound confident, but the Doctor couldn’t be fooled. This was her trying to convince herself, not him.

 

Nardole returned with a glass of water and handed it to her. Missy took a sip and then put it on the bedside table.

“I’m tired.”, she said quietly.

The Doctor nodded. “Get some sleep. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

He got up again and wanted to follow Nardole outside, but suddenly slender fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist. As he turned around Missy pulled back her hand immediately.

“Uhm… your coat! Do you want it back?”, she asked briefly.

“You can give it back later.”

She nodded and pulled the blanket over her face. “Night-night.”

“Good night.”

 

Bill and Nardole were waiting for him outside of the vault. Both looked worried as he looked the door behind him.

“Will she be okay?”, Bill asked.

The Doctor sighed and leaned against the door of the Vault. “She is blocking. But I can see that she isn’t okay.”

“Maybe we should open that box.”, Nardole suggested but the Doctor shook his head.

“I want to talk with her first.”

“Doctor…” Bill stepped closer to him. “You aren’t okay either.”

“Of course, I’m not!” He moved a few steps away, holding his head.

“You killed a man.”

The Doctor stopped in his movements, then slowly turned to her. “I gave him all the chances. Have you seen what he did? What he wanted to do?”

“I’m not blaming you.” Bill looked down. “I just think it hurts you more than you admit. Just like her.”

He shook his head. “You don’t know me, Bill.”

“More than you think.” She carefully took his hand. “When I saw what he did to Missy I felt that anger too. And I don’t even care for her as much as you do.”

The Doctor looked at her, a faint glow in his eyes. “Nobody deserves such a treatment. Nobody.”

Bill nodded in agreement. “Maybe buy her something nice. Her favourite food. Or perfume. She surely earned it.”

“Yes…” The Doctor separated from her again. “Nardole, buy those chocolate biscuits Missy loves so much. And caramel tea.”

“She maybe should eat more than just sweets…”, the cyborg muttered.

“Oh yes… cook her something healthy too. But not too healthy. No broccoli.”

Nardole sighed but nodded. “Fine.”

 

Later that evening the Doctor was sitting in his office, correcting student’s works. The day seemed so surreal and didn’t leave him without marks, but he still had a duty to fulfil.

Nardole had brought a fancy dinner to Missy and told him that she had been very happy about it. It made him feel a little bit better. Tomorrow he would talk to her properly and see how they would go from here.

He leaned back in his chair and stretched his muscles. It took longer than usual to go through the homework because his mind was filled with other things.

“Chm-chm.”

A quiet cough from the door ripped him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Missy standing there, wearing her Slytherin pyjama. He jumped up from his chair.

“Missy! What are you doing here?!”

“I’ve broken out of the vault.” She tilted her head a little. “See, it’s easy if I want to.”

“If you want to flee it’s the worst idea to come here.”, he said while slowly walking towards her, not knowing what she might be up to.

“I suppose.” She handed him his coat. He noticed that her fingers were shaking. “I just wanted to bring it back.”

“In the middle of the night?”, he asked carefully.

“Why not?” Missy smiled a little. “I didn’t kill anyone on the way, I swear.” She laughed, but it sounded like suffocating.

“Missy… why are you here?”

She shook her head, biting her lower lip. Before he could say anything else she threw herself at him, burying her face in his chest while sobbing heartbreakingly. It surprised him, but he didn’t question her and embosomed her tightly.

 

After a few minutes Missy slowly stepped back from him and cleared her throat. “That didn’t happen.”, she said insistently.

“I already forgot.” The Doctor nodded.

She wiped the tears off her face with the sleeve of hear pyjama. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Sure. It’s the left door over there.” He nodded at the door to his private rooms.

“Thanks.” Missy walked over, still a bit groggy. The Doctor watched her until she was out of sight, then he sat back down at his desk. If she wanted to steal the TARDIS she would have a hard time since there was no way he wouldn’t notice. But something told him that this wasn’t the case.

 

About ten minutes passed and Missy still wasn’t back. The Doctor tried not to worry but it just was impossible. He stood up again and went over to the bathroom.

“Missy?” Carefully he knocked on the door. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t get an answer but noticed that the door wasn’t closed completely. Slowly he pushed it open. And his hearts stopped beating for a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like cliffhangers. Do you like cliffhangers? xP  
> Also, you can blame Doctor Who Infinity for any past and future delays. That game is just amazing! At first I thought it would just be a prequel side-story-thing but it is actually the Doctor, Missy, Bill and Nardole travelling together with Michelle Gomez narrating all of it and sooo many shippy moments! I might have screamed at my laptop... for hours... *cough*  
> Also, if you fail a level Missy insults you. Is it wrong that I... (like that)? (Missy from the distance: "Yes! Very!")  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy  
> PS: My steam is LuddySnape, if you want to add me. xD


	4. Bleeding Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's got something to do with blood and regret.

Missy was sitting in the shower in a puddle of blood. She had put off her pyjama and took the Doctor’s razor to cut open several body parts. He could see wires and metal under her skin and on the floor. She was cutting them out without any self-regard.

“Missy!”

He ran over and kneeled to her. She didn’t look at him and continued to cut out a metal part from her thigh.

“Stop.” The Doctor grabbed her wrists. One of them was cut open too.

She looked at him, her eyes watery. “No. No, it has to get out. I don’t want it inside of me.”

“Okay. But not like that. You need to get a real surgery.”

Missy shook her head. “Almost done…”

“Okay, then at least let me take care of your wounds.”

“Could use some help… can’t reach some…”

“Missy…”

“Please.” Her fingers closed themselves around his’. “I want my body back.”

The Doctor brushed one hand over his face. “Okay. Where?”

Missy turned around and pointed between her shoulder blades where he could already see a square object underneath her skin. He carefully placed one hand next to it and started to cut trough her pale skin. With as less cuts as possible he removed the metal part from her body.

Missy turned around again. She hadn’t even twitched once and didn’t seem to feel the pain.

“There.”, she said and pointed at her temple. Shocked, the Doctor noticed the scar that hinted at something getting put in there.

“I can’t cut there… it’s too dangerous.”, he said quietly.

“There.” Missy pointed at the scar again and moved closer.

“Missy…”

“Cut it out. Now.” Her voice was shaking.

“I… okay. Hold still.” He grabbed her face and carefully cut along the scar. Blood was dripping out, mixed with the blue fluid. Carefully he pulled her skin open to find some wires underneath. He pulled them out slowly and noticed that they were connected to a small chip. It jammed a bit as he tried to pull it out, but in the end, it worked out.

“Okay. Done.” He released her face again.

“One’s left.”, Missy muttered.

“Where?”

She looked down beneath her legs. “Inside… can’t grasp it.”

“Oh no. No, no, no.” The Doctor shook his head as Missy moved her legs apart.

“I’m consent.”

“Well, I am not!”

She looked at him, no expression on her face. “Please. It’s hurting me.”

“What did he put… there?” The Doctor looked at her, stunned.

Missy shook her head. “Please… I can’t grasp it. I can’t see… I only trust you.”

The Doctor took a deep breath. “Okay, fine.” He bended down between her legs and tried to ignore the fact that this was morally incorrect. Carefully he moved two fingers inside of her. She twitched lightly and gasped, but that probably was a normal reaction he desperately tried to ignore.

“Relax…”, he muttered. “That will make it easier.”

He could feel that she was trying and slowly moved his hand deeper, groping for whatever got placed inside. Her body was shivering under his touches. Finally, he could feel something that didn’t seem to belong there and gently pulled on it. Missy let out a loud gasp as it moved, and he pulled it out carefully. His hand was bloody now. The thing he was holding was some kind of DNA catcher. It worried him quite a lot. He collected all the items from the floor and stowed them in the laundry basket before turning back to Missy.

“I’ll clean you up first and then take care of the wounds.”

She just nodded, looking even paler now that she was losing so much blood. He willowed up his sleeves and put on the water to give Missy a quick shower. Blood was running down her body and the drain. He then wrapped her up in his fluffiest towel to dry her up. Its colour changed to red in no time as well.

“I’m gonna take care of your wounds now.” The Doctor grabbed his first aid kit and treated all her cuts carefully. It took him almost an hour but in the end all bleeding had stopped.

“Maybe you should eat something to restore some energy.”, he said. “I’ve got my secret chocolate den.”

Missy shook her head. “I can’t eat. It all tastes horrible. It makes me vomit… I vomited on the floor. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’ll clean it up and then you can go back to bed.”

She looked down at her feet. “Can I… stay until morning?”

The Doctor suddenly remembered her grabbing his arm before as he had been about to leave. “Missy… are you scared?”

“No.” She stood up very wonky.

“Wait.” He wrapped his arm around her. “Don’t fall.”

“I want to cuddle…”, she whispered into his ear. “Please don’t send me away.”

“If you promise me to never act so self-destructive again.”

“Promise.”

“Okay, come on.” He lifted her up and carried her over to his bedroom.

“Cosy…”, Missy muttered while eying the room.

“Glad you like it.” He put her down on the bed. “I’m gonna get your pyjama.”

“Can I wear something from you instead?”

The Doctor was surprised but nodded. “Sure, if you want to.”

“Just a T-shirt.”

He opened his closet and grabbed a simple black T-shirt from inside. Missy put it on but it was of course too large for her, especially now after she had lost so much weight.

“Can you brush my hair?”, she asked. It was completely felted and knotty and looked like nobody had taken care of it in… fifty years.

“I don’t think brushing will help much…”, the Doctor muttered while trying to run a finger through it.

“Alright then cut it off.”

“I’m sure short hair will suit you as well.” He gave her a smile and she returned it briefly.

The Doctor wasn’t a hairdresser, but he took his time and gave his best to give Missy a decent haircut. And even though she couldn’t tie up it in a Victorian manner like she used to, Missy seemed very happy about her now chin-long hair.

“Freedom.”, she sighed while running a hand through it.

The Doctor looked down at the knotty nest of hair on the floor. “I suppose it wasn’t quite comfortable.”

“Absolutely not. All scratchy and itchy.” Missy looked down to the floor. “I know you want answers. But please give me some time, okay?”

He sat down next to her and cupped her face gently. “Take all the time you need.”

She looked up again, her eyes watery again. It hurt him to see her so sad. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest.

“Have I passed?”, she whispered quietly.

“Passed?” He looked down at her in confusion.

“My test.” Missy smiled sadly. “I was a failure, wasn’t I? At least I didn’t kill anyone…”

“You’ll get another chance.” The Doctor carefully lay down with her and pulled the blanket over them. Missy moved even closer and he could feel her body shaking.

“I’ve counted.”, she whispered. “But I just don’t know the number.”

“Which number do you mean?”

“The number of the people I’ve killed.”

The Doctor’s grip tightened just a little. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“It always does.” Her voice was shaking, and he could feel tears soaking in the fabric of his shirt.

“Do you regret it?”

“Yes… God, yes I do…” Missy snuffled. “It was fun to me. Plotting and planning world domination… but now I see what I really did. What I really am. A monster… you shouldn’t have saved me. You know that I deserve punishment.”

The Doctor’s throat got sore on these words. He carefully ran one hand through her now short hair. “You deserve redemption.”

“You know that I don’t. I’m cruel, mad and instable.”

“You are so much more than that.” The Doctor pulled her even closer and buried his face in her hair.

Missy didn’t answer him. She just laid still in his arms while he caressed her shoulder with his thumb. It was hard to believe that this small and fragile woman had erased whole galaxies.

“Try to sleep.”, he whispered quietly. He didn’t get an answer again, but he knew that she was awake. So, he continued to caress her while the hard day slowly made him drift off to sleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say here. More will come soon. Or later. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	5. Bathroom Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy gets a little bit spoiled by the Doctor. Maybe too much.

When the Doctor opened his eyes, rays of sunlight were breaking through the window. He was alone in his bed, no hair on the floor, no Missy next to him. For a moment he thought that everything had been nothing more than a dream.

He stood up and wanted to walk over to the bathroom to make himself presentable, as he heard loud voices from his office. It was Nardole and Missy and they were apparently having a huge fight.

“What is going on?”, the Doctor asked loudly to predominate the loud conversation.

“She was trying to murder you!”, Nardole shouted and pointed at Missy.

“That is not true!”, Missy screamed back.

“Calm down! Both of you!” The Doctor ran a hand over his face. “Missy, do you want to tell me something?”

“I didn’t want to murder you.” She crossed her arms. “I was cleaning up.”

“She was holding scissors and stared at you while you were sleeping!”, Nardole hissed.

“I wanted to put the scissors back on the desk! I was cleaning up!”

“Then why didn’t you clean up the mess you left in the Vault? How did you even get here?!”

“I hypnotised you last evening and you let me out…”

“You… what?!” Nardole stood with his hands on his hips.

Missy rolled her eyes. “Relax, it won’t leave any damage.”

“Stop it now!” The Doctor sighed deeply. “Missy don’t hypnotise Nardole again. Nardole, Missy really did clean up the room.”

“You knew she was here and didn’t bring her back to the Vault?!” Nardole looked outraged.

“Did you even look at her?!” The Doctor pointed at all the bandages on Missy’s body.

“You gave her a haircut and one of your shirts. I better don’t ask what was going on that night…”, Nardole grumbled.

“Cutting hair is so… erotic.” Missy grinned and barked into Nardole’s ear.

“Missy…” The Doctor sighed. “Nothing was going on. Nothing…” The Doctor tried to wipe the memory of his fingers inside of her out of his mind. “…immoral.”

“I hurt myself and he tied me up and freed me of the broken hair. Now I’m a shorty.” Missy shook her head to let the hair fly. “Still filthy… I need to wash it.”

“Then come on, I was on the way to the bathroom anyway.” The Doctor took Missy’s hand.

“You want to go with her to the bathroom… together?” Nardole’s voice pitched higher with every word.

“We’ve done that before. Even over 2000 years ago.” The Doctor sighed again.

Missy winked at him. “No worries.”

 

The Doctor held the door open for Missy who thanked it with a little smirk.

“Only took you 2000 years to learn how to treat a lady.”

“You weren’t a lady back then.” The Doctor closed the bathroom door behind them.

“But others were. You were no gentleman.”

“Maybe.”

Missy sat down on the edge of the bathtub and crossed her legs. “So… why the lie? And why did you bring me here?” She chuckled.

“I just wanted to separate you two. Probably a stupid idea. Nardole surely has got some ideas now…”

“Oh really?” Missy’s smirk grew wider and she stood up again. “Ideas of your hand in various places?”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone.” The Doctor pointed at her with his angry face.

“Oh, why would I? That is our little secret.” She chuckled again. “But it’s kind of exciting. That’s the first time we’re… compatible.”

“Now you’re getting ideas…” The Doctor shook his head.

“Oh, I’m not getting them now.” Missy took off his T-shirt.

“What are you doing…?”

“What, do you want me to shower with clothes?”

“You shouldn’t shower at all, it will only wet you bandages and rip open wounds.”

Missy pouted. “But I’m gross. Look at me! I’m filthy and sweaty and hairy!”

“Still, no shower for you. I can wash your hair though. And we can you later. I still don’t know why you want that though…”

“It’s a girl thing.” Missy posed for him. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

“No.”

She let her arms sink down and huffed. “Now that’s just rude.”

“Missy, you’re massively underweight and your body is full of wounds. That isn’t pretty, that worries me.”

“Just wash my hair, okay?” She leaned over the edge of the bathtub, ignoring his comment.

The Doctor put off his sweaty shirt as well before turning on the shower and gently letting the water run through Missy’s hair. She closed her eyes and visibly enjoyed it.

“Which shampoo do you prefer? Melon or Lemongrass?”

“Melon.”, Missy muttered without opening her eyes. The Doctor took the shampoo and massaged it into her scalp.

“Mmh… that’s good.”, she hummed contently.

The Doctor smiled lightly and washed it out again. “There you go. Not filthy and smelling like fresh melons.”, he said while drying her hair with a towel.

“Much better.” Missy leaned herself against him. “But the rest of my body still feels dirty.”

“You’re utilising me.” The Doctor shook his head. “But fine.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Missy grinned wolfishly as he grabbed a flannel and wetted it under the tap.

“I know.” He kneeled before her and started to clean up her body between the bandages. Missy closed her eyes and it concerned him a little how much she seemed to enjoy it. Her breath was shivering with every touch and her nipples hardened.

“I think that’s enough. You’re clean.”, he said but Missy grabbed his arm as he wanted to move away.

“Don’t stop.”, she whispered.

“Missy, I’m not here to… satisfy you in that way.”

She slowly opened her eyes again. “It… feels so good.”

The Doctor shook his head. “No.”

“Please… you don’t have to do anything. Just… touch me.” Her grip tightened.

“Missy, I won’t touch you.”

“Please. Please…”

It hurt him to see her begging like that. He knew that something wasn’t right. That wasn’t her usual behaviour.

“Do you want to tell me why you want it so badly?”, he asked quietly.

“I feel safe when you touch me.” She pulled him closer. “I feel excited. I… I feel.”

“You want to feel?”

“Yes… I want to feel so bad… something good… no fear…” She guided his hand to her breast and pushed it against it.

“Missy… this isn’t right.” The Doctor pulled back his hand.

“No… no, no, no.” She pleaded at him with watery eyes. “Don’t go away. Stay. Stay.”

“I’m right here.” He carefully caressed her cheek and Missy leaned her head against his hand.

“Kiss me.”, she whispered while moving closer.

“I don’t think…!” But she didn’t let him finish the sentence and closed his lips with hers. It was a shy kiss though. Nothing compared to the _welcome package_ she gave him back then.

“Missy…!”, he muttered and gently pushed her away. She looked at him for a moment and then suddenly she started to scream. He’d often hear her scream while she had been in the Vault when she was angry, or things didn’t go her way. But this was different. It was heart-breaking.

He tried to calm her down, but nothing seemed to work, and she just continued to scream. Nardole even rushed into the bathroom to see what was going on but Missy just continued, even when the Doctor pulled her into a tight hug.

“Nardole, get the tranquiliser!”, the Doctor ordered helplessly.

“NO!” Missy screamed even louder and tried to free herself from his grip, her voice becoming an agonised screeching.

“It won’t hurt. Don’t be afraid.” The Doctor tightened his grip, but Missy tried to free herself with biting and scratching.

“There we go.” Nardole filled a syringe with the tranquiliser and flicked one finger against it.

“NO!” Missy panicked even more and kicked the Doctor in the stomach. It hurt him, but he didn’t let her go.

“Please… please don’t…!” Her screaming turned into crying as Nardole brought the syringe closer to her body. Terror was written on her face. “I’m calm! I’m calm, see, I’m calm!”

“Nardole, stop.” The Doctor gave Missy a worried look.

“No, I won’t. She is pretending.” Nardole shook his head and grabbed Missy’s arm.

The Time Lady screamed again and wanted to move back but she couldn’t because the Doctor still had her in a tight grip. He felt warm fluid on his legs and it took him a second to realise that Missy had wet herself in fear.

“Shh. It’s all going to be okay.”, he tried to soothe her while running one hand trough her hair. “It won’t even hurt.”

Nardole injected the needle into her skin and Missy whimpered as the tranquiliser did its work and she lost consciousness.

“Well… that was new.” Nardole put away the syringe again.

“That was… horrible.” The Doctor looked down at Missy’s oppressed body.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know… she just freaked out.”

“We have to bring her back to the Vault.”

The Doctor nodded but cleaned her up first and dressed her in her pyjama again. Then he changed his own clothes and together they navigated through the college without being seen by anyone to bring Missy back to the Vault.

 

“We have to look inside that box.”, Nardole insisted after they had put her into bed and left the Vault again. “We need clues.”

“I still don’t think it is right…”, the Doctor hesitated.

“You won’t be able to get answers from her. And you won’t be able to help her like this.” Nardole crossed his arms.

“I suppose you’re right…” The Doctor sighed. “Fine, let’s go to the TARDIS.”

They walked back to his office and entered the spaceship. The box was still standing where they had left it. The Doctor had a bad feeling as they approached it. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to see its contents.

Nardole opened it up. It wasn’t even locked.

“It’s… video logs.”, he said while putting out some discs.

“Video logs over what he’s done to her…” The Doctor brushed one hand over his face. “Right, let’s watch them. We need to know what happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic! At the Bathroom.   
> Sorry, that one was horrible. xD  
> I hope you liked it anyways. :3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	6. Video Log

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Nardole start watching the video logs.

The face of Walter Fenyred appeared as a holographic screen when the Doctor inserted the first disc of the video logs into the TARDIS console. He seemed excited and adjusted his glasses.

“New species arrived. First profile: Time Lord. Female. Rebellious and bubbly. More information will be collected soon.”

The screen flickered, then showed Walter again. “Removed all species but the Time Lord. Profile update: Name: Missy, short for The Mistress. Snarky. Self-Confident. Highly intelligent. Experiments will start soon.”

Another scene appeared. Missy was strapped onto a table now, her hands and feet cuffed against solid metal. She wasn’t wearing clothes and the difference between her body now and then made him gulp. Sure, she had always been petite, but back then her body had still been normal. No visible bones and wounds.

“Oh darling, how romantic you are.”, Missy said snarky as Walter stepped closer to her.

“You do have a wonderful body, I must say.”

Missy snuffled. “I can’t complain either.”

“Tell me, do you prefer to be male or female?”

“Hm.” Missy chewed on her lower lip. “Both has its…” She smirked. “…amenity.”

“Yore not being serious with me.”

“Oh, really?” She huffed. “Your little robots forcefully removed my clothes and tied me on here. Sorry if I’m not in the best mood to answer private questions.”

“Don’t worry. That will be fixed soon.”

“’Scuse me?” Missy looked a bit worried now as Walter held up a scalpel.

“Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.” He cut along her temple, creating the cut where the Doctor had pulled out the chip the night before.

“That did hurt!”, Missy complained as blood leaked out of the fresh wound.

“Sorry. It’s just a phrase you tell people.”

“Yeah, I know! I used it very often before I… I killed people.”

“Is that remorse in your voice?”

“Oh, shut up.” Missy struggled against the chains. “This isn’t funny anymore.”

“You are so fascinating…” Walter ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t wait to learn your secrets.”

Missy spat into his face. “Hands off, ye pervert.”

“Beautiful temper.” He smiled, then he took the chip from another table. “Now… this won’t hurt.”

“Stop!” Missy struggled harder now, throwing her head around so that he couldn’t put it in.

“Oh dear. I thought we could solve this rationally, but I guess you’re too excited.” Walter took out a syringe from his pocket. “We’ll have to sedate you then.”

“That’s it.”, the Doctor said quietly as the man forcefully inserted the tranquiliser into Missy’s arm. “That’s why she freaked out.”

Nardole nodded. “Seems like it.”

Now sedated, Missy couldn’t struggle anymore and had to endure getting the chip implanted. She wasn’t unconscious though, just powerless.

“That’s better.”, Walter said. “Now, tell me your name.”

“Missy…”, she muttered exhausted.

“Not that name. Your real one.”

“I’d never…”

“Do it. Now.”

“Nalukoscheisopnamantenecorserdry.” Her eyes widened in terror as she realised what she had just done.

“See? Wasn’t that hard.” Walter smirked.

“How…?”

“Oh, it’s the chip. It forces you to tell the truth. Makes it easier for me. Last name please.”

“I… won’t…”

“Last name.”

“Aesculusderevo.” Missy’s voice was shaking now.

“Thank you. Now answer me: Man or woman, what do you like better? And why?”

“I…” She shook her head.

“I asked you a question. That’s impressive, you are still very tough, even though the chip is working.”

“Fuck you!”, Missy shouted, her body struggling weakly. The Doctor never heard her curse like this before, not even in previous incarnations.

“You can’t change the topic. Answer.”

“Female!”, she cried out, not able to resist any longer. “Female, because it feels like being freed, like I can finally be myself without my father in the back, judging me. He can’t have a female heir… the pressure is gone. Female, because I’m not expected to be strong. Female, because I can wear pretty clothes. Female, because he likes me! I never had a chance as a male… I still haven’t got one… but…” Now tears were dripping down Missy’s face. “I felt like we were close.”

“Who is he?”

“The Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

“Exactly.” Missy smirked half-assed. “Doctor Who.”

“Do you love him?”

Missy shook her head. “It’s much more complicated than that.”

“Have you ever kissed him?”

“Yes.”

“Had sex?”

“Honestly…” Missy shook her head. “No!”

“Would you want to?”

“Why are you asking all those questions…?” Missy sounded very insecure now.

“Answer.”

“Well, yes! Happy with that information?”

The Doctor could feel Nardole’s glance on him, but he didn’t show any reaction. He knew that he wasn’t supposed to know this, and he would never talk about it, that he was certain of.

“Are you a virgin?”, Walter continued to ask.

“I’m over 2000 years old, take a guess.” Missy huffed.

“Is this body a virgin?”

“No!” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how this is relevant…”

“Oh, I just wanted to tease you a little because of your Doctor.” Walter allowed himself to smile a little. “But it is in fact relevant. Virgins are tighter.” He walked to the other end of the table and looked between Missy’s legs.

“Now that’s…!” She gasped. “…rude!”

“Apologies. I won’t look, I promise.” He took the DNA catcher from the table the Doctor had later pulled out of there. That really was too much for him and he put off the video log.

“Doctor…”, Nardole didn’t really know what to say when the Time Lord threw all logs back into the box.

“She had many more devices in her body.”, he said without looking at him.

“Is that why she has those wounds?”, Nardole asked quietly.

“She broke out because she wanted to get a grip of something sharp.” The Doctor finally looked at him. He felt incredible anger, not at the cyborg but at the monster that had hurt Missy in that way.

“We could just watch…”

“No.” The Doctor kicked the box to release some anger. “We won’t watch this. I don’t want to hear things I’m not supposed to hear.”

“Do you think she fancies you?”

The Doctor gave Nardole a glare that could destroy whole galaxies. “Never, n _ever,_ talk about this again, you get me?”

Nardole nodded, a bit daunted. “Just… that device. Did he… put it…?”

“Yes.” The Doctor kicked the box again. “Bloody yes! In her head, in her back, her arms, legs, everywhere! Wires, devices, controls, …” He brushed one hand over his face. “You know, I don’t need to examine the devices. I already know what he did. And it makes me sick.”

“What…?”

“What, you asked? He wired her whole body to give her controlled shocks if she wouldn’t behave. He implanted a chip into her head to make her tell him the truth to every question. He put a DNA catcher into her… female part.”

“A DNA catcher?” Nardole lifted a non-existent eyebrow. “Catching… her DNA? I don’t get it…”

“Not hers specifically…” The Doctor shook his head. “If it is what I fear… I hope I’m wrong.”

“What…?”

“Don’t ask.” The Doctor went to the door. “Forget what you saw. This isn’t the way to make her open up. Just… keep in mind what she has been through.”

He didn’t wait for an answer and left the TARDIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, there has been quite a break. I've been away and had no time to continue. But now I have got my very first Missy cosplay! It's the vault version because I didn't dare to do the coat just yet... and also I don't have the money. xD  
> One of my best friends helped me sewing it... well okay, she did pretty much everything because I have no talents. But I'm so happy and we even finished on time for gamescom so I was able to wear her there. *3*  
> Anyways, I hope you liked the continuation and sorry for the wait. :D  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	7. Kiss, Clothes, Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy wakes up again.

Missy opened her eyes. The familiar dim light of the Vault welcomed her, and it never felt better. She would never admit it, but her prison felt more like home than any other place she’d ever been to.

“Feeling better?”

The soft voice of the Doctor ended her thoughts. She turned her head and saw him sitting next to her bed.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked.

“I felt a bit guilty. So, I wanted to apologize. And… I was worried.” He smiled a little. “I’ve brought biscuits. Maybe you want to try to eat one.”

Missy carefully sat up. She still felt very dizzy, but she managed to sit. “Give me one.”

The Doctor handed her a chocolate biscuit. The aggressive scent of nougat already made her sick, but she pinched her nose with two fingers and took a little bite. Before the sweet had the tiniest of chances to go down her stomach she already felt it coming up again. Bravely, she pressed one hand over her mouth and swallowed it once more. It didn’t really work out and she threw up against her hand to avoid the puke flowing out of her nose.

“Oh dear…” The Doctor handed her a tissue to wipe away the biggest damage.

“You’ve seen me throwing up at myself, you’ve seen me naked, you’ve felt me naked, you’ve seen me wet myself, … anything else you want to see for blackmail?” Missy took off her stained shirt and kicked away the blanket.

“I won’t blackmail you.” The Doctor took the tissue and wiped away last puke remains from the corner of her mouth.

Missy nodded quietly and looked down on her feet. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“Do you want to tell me what triggered it? I just don’t want to do it again.” He handed her a glass of water.

She huffed and took a sip. “You don’t want to know.”

“I do.”

Missy emptied the glass and put it on her bedside table. “It’s stupid.”

“Everything is stupid.” His fingers wrapped themselves around hers. “You can trust me. You know that.”

“Rejection.” Missy smiled without looking at him.

“You felt rejected?”

“Well, yes. Because you did reject me.”

“I just don’t think it’s right…”

“I know.” Missy freed himself from his grip. “You always do what’s right. That’s why you’re the Doctor.” He voice was shaking a little. “But why can’t it be right?”

“Because you aren’t sane at the moment.”

“I’m never sane!” She looked at him, her whole body trembling now. “You know that better than anyone else.”

“Yes but… you never asked such things before and I think you will regret it later.”

“You think.” Missy huffed. “Do you want to know what I think? I think you’re using kindness as an excuse. Just tell me that you don’t want me! Be a man, for God’s sake!”

“I never said that I didn’t want you. I just think you will hate yourself later, if…”

“Stop assuming what I’m thinking!” Missy shook her head. “Do you know what I want? What I really want? I want you to fuck me! I want you to kiss me, to put off your clothes and to come into my bed! I want to feel you all over and inside of my body! Because I still feel so damn dirty! You don’t know what he did to me! What I’ve been through! I need someone to show me that I’m not! I… I can’t…” Her screaming slowly turned into sobbing. “Maybe I should regenerate… maybe then the dirt would go away…”

“Oh Missy…” The Doctor pulled her into a loving hug and gently caressed her back. “You aren’t dirty.”

“I want to die.”, she sobbed and buried her head in his chest.

“Don’t say such things.” He carefully ran a hand through her hair. “Do you want to talk?”

“I told you what I want.”

“Kiss, put off clothes, bed.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Missy looked up, disbelief in her eyes.

The Doctor smiled a little. “But only if you don’t tell Nardole.”

“Why would I?” She placed one hand on his cheek. “Kiss.”

“Kiss.” The Doctor nodded and softly put his lips on hers. He could feel her hand move to his neck as their kiss deepened. Her tongue broke through his lips and started a fight with his’ while her fingers unbuttoned his shirt.

“Put off clothes…”, she muttered against his lips while removing the shirt from his body.

“Bed.”, the Doctor replied and gently pushed her down into the pillows again. She pulled him with her so that he was lying on her now, both shirtless and excited.

“Why have we never done that before?”, Missy asked while opening his pants.

“Why should we have done that before?”, the Doctor replied.

“Because you really like it.” Missy lowered her voice as she shoved one hand into his pants and coaxed a loud moan out of him.

“Maybe.”, he wheezed.

“Just so you know, normally I’m not that nice.” She pulled down his pants and he just kicked them away.

“I don’t doubt that.” He pulled down her panties and started kissing her neck. Missy sighed contently and tilted her head to give him more room.

“But I want it to be nice now.”, she whispered and closed her eyes.

“I’ll be nice.” The Doctor kissed back to her mouth. They shared a passionate kiss, slowly starting to move against each other.

“Tell me I’m pretty.”, she whispered.

“You are pretty.”, the Doctor muttered and placed one hand on her waist.

“How pretty?”

“Very.”

Missy smirked lightly and spread her legs. “You should work on that.”

“I wasn’t prepared.”

“I hope you haven’t unlearned where the entrance is.”

“I think I’ll find it.”

The Doctor slowly moved inside. Her whole body was shivering, and she moaned lightly.

“Are you okay?”, he asked quietly.

“Are you kidding me?”, she gave back. “Start moving, will you?”

He chuckled softly and gave her another kiss before starting to move. They needed a few seconds to find a common rhythm but then it was just wonderful. Missy wrapped his arms around him and they moved in a slow and steady pace, both moaning lowly against each other’s lips.

“He raped me with a cold syringe.”, Missy suddenly whispered. “Every week. I’ve missed the warmth.”

The Doctor couldn’t hide his shock. “Are you sure it is okay…?”

“Shh.” She placed a finger on his lips. “Don’t you dare stopping now.”

“Is it warm enough?”, he asked quietly, not wanting to upset her.

“Yes.” She closed her eyes again. “Kiss me.”

The Doctor gently pecked her lips before he turned it into a proper kiss again. Missy increased her speed a little and crawled softly into his back. He let out a surprised groan and adjusted to her pace.

“Do you want me to leave marks?”, she whispered lowly.

“Let’s not get carried away too much.”

“Fine.” She moved back her fingers but seemed a bit disappointed.

“Hey.” He caressed her cheek with a smile. “We’re being nice, remember? So, if you want to leave marks, make it kiss marks.”

With a smirk Missy rolled on top and started to suck on his neck. The Doctor was a bit surprised, but he had to admit that it wasn’t unpleasant. Quite the opposite.

“You like that, huh?”, she murmured into his ear after biting her way up.

“You too.”, he affirmed indirectly.

“Cute.” She bit his earlobe before kissing down to his shoulder again.

“I’m not cute…”, he muttered but it ended in a deep moan as she left a mark on his shoulder.

“I don’t think I’ll last much longer…”, he wheezed.

“Okay.” Missy kissed his cheek and then moved off him.

“Do you want to tease me now?”, he asked sceptically.

“No, I just don’t want to get pregnant, silly.”

“Oh. Yeah, you can do that now, right?”

Missy huffed. “You make it sound like a superpower.”

“It is… somehow.”

“Hand or mouth?”

“What?”

“What do you prefer? Oh, come on, I won’t leave you hanging like that.”

“I… uh…” He felt his cheeks heathen up.

“Are you… blushing?”, Missy asked in disbelief.

“Shut up.” The Doctor turned his head away, but she caught it with a finger and gave him a loving kiss.

“You’re so innocent.”, she muttered. “I would love to do naughty things to you…”

“Should I be worried?”

Missy shook her head. “Close your eyes.”

“Now I am worried.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then close your eyes.”

“Fine.” The Doctor closed his eyes. A few seconds later he could feel her lips in his lower regions, sucking hard and bringing him over the edge in no time.

 

“That was nice.”, Missy muttered while cuddling up to him.

“I can’t believe we did that…”, the Doctor muttered and wrapped an arm around her.

“Do you regret it?”, she asked quietly and rested her head on his shoulder.

“No.” He shook his head. “Do you feel better now?”

“I don’t know.” Missy sighed and started drawing circles on his chest.

“What you said… why did you tell me?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want to say it… I’m not fully in charge of myself.”

“You know that I’m here for you, right?” He looked at her and gently kissed her forehead.

“Yes.” Missy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re not stupid. You know what he did to me.”

“I… have got some theories.”

“Tell me your theories. I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

The Doctor gulped. “You had a DNA catcher inside and he raped you with a syringe…” He carefully grabbed her hand. “He simulated pregnancy and then performed an abortion to get birth samples.”

“Bingo.”

“Oh God…” His grip tightened, and she wrapped her fingers around his’.

“Please make sure I’ll never see him again… I think I’d kill him.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“I _do_ worry about that!” She gave him a serious glance. “I really want to be good.”

“And that is wonderful.” He pecked her lips with a smile.

“Are… we friends again now?”, Missy asked after a little while. Her voice was shaking and the grip on his hand tightened.

“We never really stopped being friends.” The Doctor pulled her into a hug. “I know that I’m often harsh with you, but I hope you know that I only want your best.”

“Yes.” Missy closed her eyes and buried her head in his chest. And suddenly she started to cry.

“Hey…” The Doctor carefully caressed her back. “What is it?”

“Everything.” She snuffled. “It’s too much… all too much… look at me, I’m crying like a baby!”

“It’s okay to cry. Don’t worry.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

“But I’m spoiling it… we should just cuddle and be happy.”

“We are cuddling. And I’m happy to have you back.”

Now Missy smiled a little. “Well, it wasn’t long for you.”

“Still too long.”

She looked up into his eyes. “I’m a bit cold…”

“Well, you kicked away the blanket.”

“I puked on it.”

“That’s a point.” He pulled her closer into his arms. “Better?”

“A bit.” She placed a kiss on his neck. “You smell good. Like books and ink mixed with string cleaner.”

“That’s the smell of a guitar playing teacher.”

“You never brought your guitar here.” Missy pouted lightly. “We could have played together.”

“You’re right. We should do that sometime.”

Missy nodded, then slowly separated from him again. “Doctor… I want to be honest. And don’t think this is easy for me…!” She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be alone in here. Not right now. I… I’m scared.”

The Doctor gave her a warm smile and gently caressed her cheek. “You can move in with me for now. But I will have to keep an eye on you all the time. And you will have to come back in here if you harm anyone. You know that, right?”

“I’ll behave.” She leaned her head on his hand. “I’ll wear an apron and do the laundry for you.”

“You don’t need to be my housewife.”

“Can I be your girlfriend then?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “My girlfriend?”

“Well, you’ll have to explain my presence somehow.” Missy smirked lightly. “If you want to keep an eye on me all the time you’ll have to take me to your lectures.”

“That’s a point.” The Doctor slowly ran his hand through her hair. “But you could also be my sister.”

“Then you would have had sex with your sister.”

“It’s not like I’d tell that to the students.”

Missy snorted. “Maybe I’m your mother then. Do your homework!”

“Maybe you’re my grandma.”

“Maybe you will have a nail polish in your eyes soon.”

“That isn’t very nice.”

“Calling me grandma isn’t either.”

They both chuckled and the Doctor ruffled through her hair. “Alright, be my girlfriend.”

“Where did we meet?” Missy supported her head with her hand and looked at him expectant.

“A book group.” He smirked and sat up to lean his back at the pillow.

“Oh yeah, yeah, I remember now.” Missy rested her head on his lap and looked up into his face. “We were reading _The Scarlet Letter_ and I accidentally threw my copy into the lake while feeding ducks, so I borrowed yours. I brought it back to you after reading it and we started talking about the book alone. You opened a bottle of wine and I stayed overnight. Nothing sexual, we just fell asleep in the living room because we were drunk and tired. You made toast the next morning and gave me your number. I waited three days to call you because I didn’t want to look desperate but, in the end, we were both just waiting nervously. We then met in the park. You bought me my favourite ice-cream – it’s strawberry by the way – and we were sitting on a bench and chatting about life. But we both were avoiding the real important topic… the feeling thingy. But when we said goodbye you worked up the courage to kiss me and of course I returned it. We were very in love then and had lots of romantic dates with holding hands and kissing. And laser tag. Of course, I won. And we went to the carnival and you screamed like a little girl while riding the rollercoaster.”

“Objection!”

“Fine, like a little boy.” Missy rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter, because we had a great fiddle on the Ferris wheel. That was the night when I took you home and we made love for the first time.”

“That’s a bit corny.”

“Maybe. But we didn’t care back then.” Missy poked his stomach. “Come on, the story needs some clichés.”

“Does it?”

“It has now.” Missy sat up as well and leaned her head on his shoulder. “But now comes the dramatic part.”

“Oh, really?” The Doctor wrapped an arm around her. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend.” Missy looked at him. “He is a really bad man, you know? He treated me horrible, so I ran away to restart somewhere else. But he found me. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid. He freaked out when he saw you and me together and beat me up. You did protect me, of course, but he’s stronger than you.”

“Is that where your wounds come from?”

“Partly. But most of them are from the car crash.”

“Car crash?”

Missy nodded. “He kidnapped me and crashed the car. He died, so at least he won’t come back. But I got hurt too. Physically and psychically.”

“I’ve been at your side in the hospital and I’m still at your side because you need me now.” The Doctor took her hand.

“Yes.” She nodded. “That’s why you even take me to your work now. Because I’m instable… and I need you.”

“And I’m there for you.” He pecked her lips softly.

“You’re a wonderful boyfriend.” Missy wrapped her arms around him and gave him a proper kiss. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty Fluff and Fluffy Smut. And more Fluff. Things worth living for. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	8. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for class.

The Doctor wrapped a protecting arm around Missy’s shoulder when they entered the lecture hall. She was wearing a polo-neck sweater and a plain dress instead of her Victorian attire to blend in with the humans a bit more. He could sense that she was nervous. There were many people inside and she didn’t seem to like being close to them. He saw Bills jaw drop as she recognised the Time Lady, but he knew that she wouldn’t tell the truth to the others.

“Everybody listen up!”, the Doctor shouted to get the attention of the students. “This is Missy. She will join us today.”

“Just don’t consider me. I’ll be watching as quiet as a mouse.” Missy smiled at the students, but he could see her hands shaking.

“Sit down.”, he mumbled and guided her to his chair. “Don’t worry, they won’t hurt you.”

“I’m not worrying about _them_ hurting _me_.”, Missy whispered back and sat down.

The Doctor didn’t react to that statement and turned back to the students to start his lesson. It didn’t even take five minutes before Missy interfered.

“… so, if two pieces of the same metal touch in space they will permanently be bond because there is no air in between. Which leaves us with…”

“And no water.”

The Doctor turned around to look a Missy. She just shrugged. “It wouldn’t bond with water in between either. I mean, there is floating water in space. If you happen to try to bond metal in a place where water is floating it just wouldn’t work. So, it’s air _and_ water.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You do realise that this is my class?”

Missy lifted her arms. “I’m quiet.”

Some of the students were laughing as the Doctor turned around again.

“What’s that even got to do with biology?”, a girl in the first row asked.

“Biology basically is about bonding things.”, Missy replied before the Doctor could answer. “You know, two organisms’ bond and create a new one. That’s how you were created. That’s how we all were created.” She stood up and the Doctor did let her continue since she seemed much more confident now.

“Everything just arose through bonding.” Missy folded her hand with a smile. “Of course, it also gets destroyed through it. Bond two wires and create a bomb that rips apart every bonding in the area. But things like that don’t work in space. _Stars Wars_ lied to you, dears, there is no sound in space, no epic laser fights. A vacuum has no sound. It’s an empty void. No bondings. Just nothing. But even the biggest nothing of it all, even the endless universe has so many connections and bondings that keep it together. So yes, bonding metal in space is biology. Because it doesn’t matter if it’s metal or organic. It’s all the same principle and everything and everyone looks for bondings in their own empty void.”

Missy stepped to the blackboard and took the chalk. “But let’s talk about organisms. The fundament of life is a cell.” She drew a circle. “All living things on earth are composed by one ore more cells. You are cells, I am cells, we all are cells. But of course, being just cells is boring. So, one day one little celly thought “Hey, this sucks!” and the evolution started.” Missy drew three lines away from the circle she had drawn and drew other circles at their ends. “So, here we have the mutations of little celly. She tried a few things in evolutions and not all of them were good.” She crossed out one of the circles. “So, mutation one did extinct. But don’t worry, extinction is a good thing. It’s natural selection. While mutation 1 here died a painful death because she was weak, mutation 2 and 3 grew stronger and stronger, mutated again and created other species, other lives.” She drew more lines away from the circles and drew new ones. “Of course, not all of them were good and they did extinct again…” She crossed out a few. “…but in the end, that’s just life and that’s how you were created too.”

“Didn’t you just say you would be quiet?”, Bill asked from the audience.

Missy slowly put down the chalk and turned around to the class with a smile. “Right. Sorry. Got carried away there.” She gave the Doctor and apologetic glance. “I’ll sit down again.”

“No, no, continue.” The Doctor smiled. “It’s good for the students to learn topics from different perspectives.”

“Alright, students.” Missy’s eyes wandered through the crowd. “Any questions so far?”

A boy lifted his hand. “Are you going to be a new teacher here?”

“No, no, no.” Missy shook her head. “I’m just… passing by.”

“Passing by?”, a girl asked.

“Yeah. Look, when I asked if you had questions I actually meant the biology thingy.” Missy nodded to the blackboard.

“Do you a biological bond with the Doctor?”, a boy from the last row asked and the class started to laugh.

Missy huffed. “Are they always this stupid?”, she asked the Doctor.

“No. I think they must like you.”, he gave back.

“Alright. Let me explain.” Missy cleaned the blackboard. “If a man and a woman like each other…” She started drawing again but the Doctor took away the chalk from her.

“I think they’re old enough to know that.”

The class burst in laughter again and Missy crossed her arms with a smirk. “Spoilsport.”

“Glad you like it here.” He gave her a little smile.

“I’m starting to understand why you haven’t run away yet. It really is a ton of fun.”

“I haven’t run away yet because of you.”

That sentence had Missy irritated for a moment. Then she remembered the oath.

“Yeah, I bet you sometimes wish you’d have killed me.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Never.”

“You can be honest.” Missy smiled a little.

“I am.” He took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“Stop flirting!”, one of the students yelled from the audience. The Doctor noticed in surprise that Missy’s cheeks turned slightly pink. Just as if she’d really forgotten about the others for a moment.

“Kiss!”, another student demanded. They seemed to enjoy the situation a bit too much.

“I think it’s time to continue…”, but before the Doctor could finish his sentence he felt a pair of wet lips on his own. Missy really did give him a kiss. A quick and innocent one but of course everyone had seen it.

“What are you doing?”, the Doctor whispered under the blustering applause of the students.

“Being your girlfriend.” Missy grinned lightly. “And I’m starting to enjoy it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I'm not updating frequently but well, things don't always go the way we want them to be. Philosophical minutes, sry. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter. x3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy

**Author's Note:**

> I've been quiet for a little while. Lots of stuff going on, good and bad. I don't want to go into detail but there IS something I NEED to tell you, because I know that readers of this kind of fanfiction will understand how HAPPY I am! QwQ  
> I made a cosplay test of Janice from The Book Group (played by Michelle Gomez) and put it on instagram AND MICHELLE GOMEZ LIKED MY PICTURE!! LIKE OMG!! MY HERO NOTICED ME!!  
> *cough*  
> Back to topic. I'm back with a new fanfiction. It's going to be very angsty. But also fluffy. And shippy. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


End file.
